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But, I was a real jerk towards Jennifer.”“And yet, she recommended that Bethany ask you to the dance. Why?”“I have no clue. I sure as hell wouldn’t have!”“But you only know this from hindsight. At the time, you did the best you could to try to care for both Jennifer and Becky. What changed?”“A lot! I suppose at the root, Jennifer realized something Bethany and a couple of others have said - that I have a capacity to love and care for more than one person.”“I’ve seen that. I think the girls who live with you see that. Granted, I don’t know them very well, but everything you say and do indicates that. So, I’ll return to the question - do you use girls for your pleasure?”“I suppose not, but I do think Bethany is right about the neediness.”“Of course she is. We all have needs. We look for people and things that meet our needs and fulfill our desires. It’s why I’m with you. But it’s also the source of an issue we need to discuss.”“The one you mentioned. Should I be worried, Anala?”She. I feel so foolish for having allowed myself to be caught up in a tangled web that only turned out to be full of lies and unrealistic dreams and expectations. As hard has it is to explain and in spite of all the hurt he has caused, I still believe that he is the person I am meant to be with in this life. It is not every day that you find someone who makes you feel the way he has made me feel and as pathetic as it is to admit, I don't want to let him go. So, with that, I have decided to settle for this, "friendship."I have decided to settle for continuing to interact with him in any way that is possible to do so, whether that means I only get to talk to him once a week or even once a year. I have elected to watch him live his life with a person I know is not right for him and I have chosen to keep my mouth shut about my feelings indefinitely not matter how much it eats away at me. The worst part is that not a single one of my desires has waned. Not one has become less intense, or.
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